Next Monday will mark a year since Shefa died. These are the reasons I survived his death: – My daughter – The transformative, overwhelming acts of love and care I have received – My family and my ancestors – Miracles This last week is so precious to me. Each day from now until next Monday is the last day I… Read more →
Stepping Off The Cliff
The Fool is the only unnumbered card in the tarot. She’s a fool not in the demeaning way we often use the word, but in a way that is both supremely innocent and supremely trusting. With a rose in her hand and a song in her heart, she steps off the cliff into the unknown without a second thought. This is the card… Read more →
Last Picture
The last picture I took of my son was 36 hours before his death. We had just gotten our rental car, and were all tired after a 15 hour travel day. I was looking forward to getting on the road and beating Bay Area traffic. It had taken a long time to get our luggage, to get our car, and now my… Read more →
On Not Going There
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Say you’re running and you think, ‘Man, this hurts, I can’t take it anymore. The ‘hurt’ part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand anymore is up to the runner himself.” ― Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running Compartmentalization is a grieving mama’s best friend. Like… Read more →
5 Months
5 months. Aries to his Scorpio. My heart still feels like a bruise, a heavy thing I carry. I still can’t wear tight clothing. There is still a veil pulled over so much of the day. And yet life keeps living, insists on it, just as he won’t allow me to dwell on the image of his dead face. The… Read more →